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| ambivert
n. a person having characteristics of both extrovert and introvert
So basically I was being an introvert tonight and needed to spend some time alone... So, like any person who wants to relax and spend time alone, I rode my longboard to some place I'd never been.
I don't know what it is about riding around on a board... ok I do. Anyway, I kept going until I found things I'd never seen before. So I followed them. The I found more things I'd never seen.
On to the point of the story... I found a spot that was so amazing I had to sit and bask in its beauty. It might not have been beautiful to anyone else, but to me, it was amazing.
As I sat and enjoyed my time of rest, I suddenly saw a huge shadow passing across the garage of a house across the street. An indeterminable shape passed across this house about once per second. For a while I couldn't figure out what this shape was. It changed each time it passed and became darker and lighter each time I saw it.
Eventually I decided to look at the source. The only way a shadow is created is by a light source. Looking up at the streetlight I could not see a thing; until suddenly... there it was! A tiny little moth fluttered in and out of the light. It didn't register with me right away.
A tiny, insignificant little bug was creating a shadow ten feet long. Because I am a nerd, I looked this up: a moth is about 6 millimeters. That means that the tiny little moth created a shadow 500 times its own size. When it flew away from the light, it created nothing at all.
That's when it hit me. (No, not the moth... the realization.) God spoke to me and said: just like this little moth, your mark on the world will be far greater than your small size if you will stand in my Light.
God's light is the source of all things, and if we stand in His light, our impact will be far greater than anything we could hope to do on our own.
Just like God says that we need only a mustard seed of faith, our insignificance can be used if we step into the Light Source.
I know this is a strange analogy but it was encouraging to me :) | | |
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Remember the times before cell phones and the internet?
We didn't have these things, and we did just fine. Sure, we imagined things could have been easier or better, but we were just fine without them. NOW, we can't imagine living a week (let alone a DAY) without using the internet or our cell phones.
We created a new need for ourselves. I'm not exempting myself from this. Ironically, my phone has been broken for 2 days and I've had to deal with it. It was hard in the beginning but now it's almost nice not to have my phone with me... (Not that I don't miss your calls and texts :)
In life, I've learned that we are content with our lives, but then we create new 'needs' in our lives; things we just can't live without.
Once we get to the point where we feel like we're incomplete without this new thing, it basically makes us unhappy more than it makes us happy.
When we feel empty inside, our radar is turned on to find something (or someone) to fill that hole. When we feel incomplete, we're always looking to complete ourselves. The problem is, we can't complete someone else unless we're already complete.
We had a woman speak about something similar in chapel last week.
The way we create problems:
Needing control
Being self-absorbed
Feeling like we're missing a piece
John 15:11 says "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."
This means our joy (not our happiness) becomes complete in JESUS, not in whatever we try to fill our emptiness with.
How to fix our emptiness:
Realize that God is in control. This doesn't mean to stop trying and be passive in life, but it also means not trying to force things to go our way.
Give ourselves away. Jesus came here to serve, and we should follow his example. Feeding our own selfish desires, if we really think about it, does not make us happy. Serving others CAN make you happy.
Realize that only God can make us whole. Looking for other things to fill the emptiness inside just creates another thing we 'need' in life and make us feel even less complete when we don't have it.
I write about this because it's been my struggle lately. (I don't want to get into the details.) I'm almost always happy, have a smile on my face, and enjoy every moment I get to experience, but a new 'need' crept up into my life. When this thing wasn't there, it would make me feel empty, even though I was perfectly content before this need was there.
I love how God makes things work out like this. This speaker, for example, spoke directly to this problem. She talked about 'the missing piece' and it felt like it was directly for me.
After a few long talks with God, things are getting better. I'm realizing, like I need to keep learning, that God is really ALL i need. Once you accept the fact that you need nothing but God, He usually gives you more than you need.
God is good :)
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| As I've said before, the world is a very beautiful place, while at the
same time being a very ugly place. It just depends how you look at it.
Lately,
I've seen the amazing beauty of the world. We sometimes call it
"creation appreciation". It's become very easy to look at something and
think, "Wow, God, you did an amazing job creating that".
To
look at the stars, the sunset, the open sky, and the people God has
created, it's hard to miss the beauty created by His hand.
Sometimes
the amazing beauty of God's work literally takes me breath away. I
honestly am in love with God and am truly captivated by everything He's
made.
God is, essentially, made of strength and beauty. When you
depend on his strength, life becomes a whole lot easier. I've learned
that when you doubt (God, or yourself), that is when you start to fall.
When you fully trust in God, things just 'happen' to work out,
'somehow.'
There are lots of people you can look at and just see
God's amazing work. You can really see the beauty manifested in their
lives. I appreciate those people. It's like a glimpse into the hear of
God.
God's strength and beauty are so apparent the more I
look, and THAT is why I'm always smiling. Everything seems so much more
amazing and so much more beautiful when you love God with everything in
you.
Well, I love Jesus. I love His creation. I love the people He's made and put in my life.
2, 4, 6, 8 I appreciate! ;)
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| It's funny how things change.. and it's funny how things stay the same. Basically, everything is pretty funny. (Not chemistry, though.) So at first I was pretty quiet and reserved when I got here, but then I had a long talk with God and he told me to just be myself. It's definitely a lot more fun for me, and people seem to enjoy it, too. People figured out I'm weird and crazy, so there's no point in trying to hide it anymore.
I also think it's funny how I got extremely sick (bronchitis and lung infection and asthma attack) in the first week of class. Not haha funny, but ironic funny. Anyway, I'm still catching up from that. God has been able to show me how amazing he is through these things. I look forward to going to chapel and church any chance I can because I can't wait to be in God's presence again. It's pretty exciting...
I walk around school with a smile on my face basically all the time. I must look crazy to everybody that sees me. Like I've got some secret in my head that nobody else knows. Well, that's pretty much what it is..
My secret is that I like being happy, and smiling makes me happy, and being happy makes me smile. Pretty simple, I know. It's really nice if you try it, though. I can find something funny in almost every situation, and that definitely helps me stay happy too. Things go through my mind that either wouldn't make sense to anyone else, or they would just think it was dumb. That's ok though, because knowing everyone else would find it dumb just makes me laugh more (inside my head) because I know I'm crazy haha
I've been extremely (unquenchably) thirsty for over a week now. I can't help drinking... It's like I'm addicted haha but getting up repeatedly to get more things to drink just gives me more things that I find funny (like people doing awkward thing).
Anyways, so I've made a lot of good friends, and lots more acquaintances. It's nice to know people see my craziness and spend time with me anyway! It's also nice to be able to be there for people who need somebody. It's also nice to be myself and be happy. Basically, it's nice.
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